Nice Try, Cosmo.

Dear Cosmopolitan,

In your August issue, you included an intriguing article that analyzed “what his Facebook status means” in your usual estrogen-drunk, over-analytical form. One of your categories for Facebook stati was “Man Who Posts Lots of ‘Deep’ Thoughts.” You included the following example status:

Demonstrate value. Engage physically. Nurture independence. Inspire hope.

You went on to say that the man that posted this takes himself pretty seriously, is thoughtful, reliable, and extra sensitive to women’s needs. I would just like to take this moment to politely correct you. The man that posted this was, in fact, quoting the D.E.N.N.I.S. System from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia:

This system was designed by Dennis Reynolds, debonaire manwhore extraordinaire, to make any woman fall in love with him before he sneaks off into the night, leaving her crying into her 600-thead-count pillowcase. So yeah…I don’t think the guy that posted this is any of those things you said.

Nice try. Hilarious embarrassing moments this month, by the way!

Sincerely,

Justine

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